I logged on this morning to share my personal experience from my VA appointment yesterday that didn’t happen, sorta! Didn’t sleep much yesterday evening, but got myself ready to drive the 120 mile round trip anyway. My car, the other living organism here that is on disability, decided not to start. I called in to let them know and cancel my appointments.
On the mental health side, the nice lady who works at the counter could tell I was upset and asked if I would like my psych. to call. I told her yes please have her call. When the psych called, I immediately said to her, that I need to talk about my anxiety and pain but I cannot because then I will be considered to be drug seeking and, low and behold, she agreed. I did anyway, because I am talking to my psych. I said my anxiety symptoms are getting worse. Can’t keep thoughts in my head very long as I just go from one to the next, to the next. I keep going blank while I’m talking. I told her I had taken my last .5 ml klonopin, which I get 9 a month.She said well that can cause memory problems.
I told her that actually I’m better at this moment, because i took one then, when I don’t. Then I talked about my pain to and she asked several questions about it and every suggestion she gave I had already done. Having trouble remembering everything we talked about. I did get some Oh my’s and stuff when she heard about what they did. But nothing she can do! I do remember being asked which is it I thought needed to be addressed more the pain or anxiety. At this point, which came first the chicken or the egg.
I did my best to explain to her that I believed that in all the years I’ve been going to the VA, I’m put on anxiety meds, then taken off then back on. Round and round it goes. I get put on pain meds for the first time, then they take them away, then get them back to have them taken away. I asked how can I be stable when I get on meds get for anxiety and pain, get stable and make progress just to have the doctors pull the rug out from under my feet. Oh and what was done, they will make an appt. for Nov. See you then!!!!!
Here is my takeaway. The VA will only treat you for health problems that they decide to. Not what you have! I have been going to the VA for over 25 years and I have for about 2 -3 years of that time actually had all my medical conditions treated at the same time. Does the Government or the public understand that the VA is making sure that people can’t ever get off of the disability the VA diagnosed them with because they won’t medically treat you enough to do so! I truly believe, not believe, know with all my being that if the VA would have treated all my conditions years ago, I would have had much more success in life! 25 years later with my physical maladies at the point they are, it’s a bit to late now, thank you very much! I’m almost done with them! Oh I can’t get there anymore anyway! I have no running car! I am almost to scattered to write this! But I’m trying this morning. (Main point this morning).
I did find one thing out that I knew, but I have absolute conformation of now. I cannot even mention anxiety or pain at the VA and that I believe I need more help than I am getting or I will be considered to be drug seeking. I knew this but tried to have hope, nope!
I cannot talk about my medical conditions to the doctor or I am drug seeking! Hey isn’t that telling me that they don’t consider them real? Oh, but guidelines based on a theory are real! Maybe If I go to the VA again, I will just stand their with tape on my mouth until they tell me to leave!